Things I Hate About Mirkwood:
The Food
Nothing to eat but squirrels that taste like gristle. At least we can order some passable food from Dorwinion on special occasions.
The Weather
What weather? We hardly get any sunlight around here.
The Wildlife
Giant spiders. On the up side, we got rid of that baby-eating psychopath Gollum last week. Well, he escaped, but no one regrets it.
The Management
Ugly guy with a German accent and his effeminate shield-surfer of a son.
Hate Mirkwood so much. Moving to Lothlorien.
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